soul of the wild
by demongirll16
Summary: Mare hawke has a secret she didn't want anyone to know about but when her father dies it comes out in the open. read to find out what her secret is and what happens to her XD
1. Chapter 1

everyone in the Hawke family had a secret they didn't want anyone to discover. none where as bad as Mare's secret. she dreaded the day they would discover it. she knew that if it was discovered her family would either fear or hate her. she had been right. on the day her father died mare had used her secret to try and protect him. she failed and ended up covered in his blood as well as the Templar's blood. mare's secret was that she could change completely to an animals form or half way between to what people called were animals. it was in this state that her family found her covered in blood. they assumed that she had lost control and would attack them next. so her brother chased her into the woods.

it was three years later that a blight broke out in Fereldan. carver had signed up for the army to help defend the land. Mare knew that her mother worried carver would not return so she fallowed him to Ostagar and protected him when she could. she got her big chance to help him when Logain betrayed their king. carver saw the retreat and ran as fast as he could back to Lothering. Mare cleared the way for him using her skill. when he reached the home Mare's heart soared when she heard that Bethany and mother wouldn't leave without her. as they ran they got attacked by several swarms of dark spawn. after finishing the last one Bethany asked "wait were are we going" "away from the dark spawn were else" carver retorted. "we just cant keep running" "we could go to Kirkwall" "there are a lot of Templars in Kirkwall mother" "i know but we have family there and an estate" "great but will that be enough when the thing goes crazy" it brought pain to her that carver still hated her for what she was but she stayed strong. "Kirkwall it is then lets head to Gwaren to get a ship"

they were attacked by several more swarms when they ran into a Templar and his wife. the Templar started to go after Bethany but his wife stopped him and introduced themselves. her name was Aveline while the Templar's name was Wesley. carver introduced everyone except for Mare. Aveline noticed and asked Mare what her name was. she was about to answer but her brother interrupted by saying "ignore her its best for you" she said her name and fell silent. she wouldn't take carver's bait she had to be the strong one even if her family feared her. she smiled as she saw Aveline had a spirit of a tiger. she didn't know why but ever since she was little when she looked at people she saw an animal spirit with them. Mare guessed it was their personalities. she looked at Wesley his spirit was a bear. she smiled as she saw carver's spirit which was a badger try to size itself up to the bear spirit. Bethany's spirit was a sparrow while her mother and father were lions.

they hadn't gotten far when the ground began to shake and an ogre charged up the hill. everyone dived out of the way. Mare froze in terror when she saw it focus its attention on Bethany and her mother. Bethany went into a defensive stance and said something before she sent a fire spell at the ogre. the ogre just swatted the spell away and picked Bethany up. when it smashed her into the ground a growl escaped from Mare and she found herself changing into a werewolf. she charged at the ogre growling. it's attention on something new. the ogre tossed Bethany's body aside and turned to hit Mare. she dodged the attack and clawed her way up. when she reached hit throat she tore into it and leaped of as the ogre hit the ground dieing. she morphed back to human form and knelt next to her mother. she was going to put her arm around her mother in comfort when carver hissed "don't you dare touch her you fucking monster!"Mare flinched at the words and withdrew her arm away from her mother. she had to quickly cover her head as her mother beat down on her yelling "why didn't you stop her" it was Aveline who pulled her mother off and glared at carver for not helping. Wesley had said a prayer for Bethany and while everyone had turned to leave. Mare turned into an animal and dug a grave for Bethany. she turned back human and put Bethany's body into the hole. she then buried her and put a marker on her grave. Mare changed her hand to claws and carved into the stone " here lies Bethany Hawke who died bravely protecting the family she loved." when she finished she spoke to the sparrow spirit that was next to her "sorry i couldn't help you Bethany go join father now" the sparrow took off and flew into the sky before it disappeared from sight Mare heard Bethany's voice whisper "be strong for mother and brother sis they will need you. i am also sorry for the pain i caused you of being afraid of your gift"

when she rejoined the group she found themselves surrounded by dark spawn "oh no we are to late" they were backing against a wall when they heard a rumbling. looking up they saw a dragon perched on the ledge. it swooped down and killed all the dark spawn. when all of them were dead the dragon transformed int a women who spoke to them. "well well what do we have here. we use to never get visitors to the wilds, but now it seems they arrive in hoards." "thank you for helping us" Mare said in a quiet voice. "my such manners in hard times. if you wish to flee the dark spawn know you are heading in the wrong direction." "that's it your just going to leave us here" carver butted in. "can i not? i spotted a most curious sight a mighty ogre vanquished! who could preform such a feat? but now my curiosity is sated and you are safe...for the moment is that not enough?" "would you be able to teach me to be a dragon?" "in due time child of the wild. tell me how do you intend to out run the blight." "we are heading to Kirkwall in the free marches" carver butted in again. "Kirkwall? my, but that is quite a voyage you plan. your king will not miss you hmm?" "king Cailan was betrayed and there is nothing for me here except bad memories'' "i see. hurtled into the chaos you fight...and the world will shake before you." Mare gave her a confused look. "is it fate or chance i can never decide. it seems fortune smiles on us both today. i may be able to help you yet?" "whats the catch" she chuckled "life is always a catch and i suggest you catch it while you can." "how can you trust her we don't even know who she is" "i know who she is. shes the witch of the wilds." Aveline said from her spot next to her husband. "some call me that. also flemeth, ashabellenar, an old hag that talks to much." she laughed at her last sentence. "does it matter? i offer you this i will get your group past the hoard in exchange for a simple delivery to a place not far out of your way. would you do this for a witch of the wilds." "we don't have much choice." :"we never do. there is a clan of Dalish elves near the city of Kirkwall. deliver this amulet to their keeper Mareathari. do as she ask with it and any debt between us is paid in full." as flemeth handed the amulet to Mare. she saw a bit of the witch's spirit go into it. "Before i take you anywhere however there is another matter..." both turned to Wesley and Aveline stood up saying "no!leave him alone!" "what has been done to your man is with in his blood already." "it's true Aveline i can see his spirit turning into those that are with the dark spawn" "what?" "when i look at people i see an animal spirit with them his is changing to the ones i see with dark spawn." "you lie!" "she's right Aveline i can feel the corruption inside me." "is there a cure" "the only cure i know of is to become a grey warden" "and they all died at Ostagar" "not all but the last are now beyond your reach." "Aveline listen to me" "no you can't ask me to do this! i won't!" "please Aveline the corruption is a slow death. i can't..." Mare knelt beside her and said "he's your husband Aveline i can't decide his fate." she nodded and Wesley drew his knife. he placed it in the gape of his armor. "be strong my love" Aveline took his hands in hers and pushed the blade into his heart. Mare watched as Wesley's spirit rose to the maker's side. "with out an end there can be no peace. it gets no easier, your struggles have only just begun." flemeth kept her word and got them to  
Gwaren.

when they went into the city. they had to find a ship that was headed to Kirkwall. carver told Mare to stay with the group and went to find a ship. annoyed that carver thought she would obey him told her mother that she was going for a walk. she was walking along a dock when she herd a high pitched yelp. peering down an ally way she saw a mabari and three men. one of the men was close to the mabari and kicked it. the mabari yelped again. "that'll teach ya you mangy mutt." he went to kick the mabari again and Mare reacted. she grabbed the mans foot and knocked him of balance. "leave him alone" she growled. well well well what ya know little pretty thing is defending an ugly dog" "at least the dog is handsomer than you" the man became angry and swung his fist at her. she grabbed his arm and wrenched it behind his back. "call your boys off or ill break and cut off your arm" he paled in fear and pain but told his men to back off. she shoved him int the closest one and said "get lost." she didn't need to say it twice as soon as she let him go all three men took off. she turned and look at the mabari he was cowering down in the corner. "its alright" she cooed. "I'm not going to hurt you" "she put her hand out and the mabari slowly came out of the shadows. he smelt her hand and then bounded into her. licking her face in gratitude. she began walking out of the alley listening to the mabari talk when the three men came back with a guard. "that's her said their leader she bewitched my dog and attacked me." the mabari was growling at them. the guard looked from the mabari to mare to the leader man. "miss care to explain." the gaurd asked. when she finished the man shouted "she lies." his goonies nodded their heads. "she is telling the truth sir" looking around they saw a little boy standing in the door way of a house near the alley. he looked to be no older than six or seven. the guard got eye level with them and asked how he knew mare was telling the truth. "i saw every thing they did to the dog from my room." he said "and what did you see" "they were beating the dog and the pretty lady came in and stopped them." "he tried to hit her because she said the dog was better looking then him. she then grabbed his arm and told him to get lost. he did and went to fetch you telling you lies." "your going to belive a little brat over us" the leader demanded. the guard answered "yes because he is my son and i raised him not to lie. as for you three your going to jail for animal abuse." all three paled when he said those words one tried to escape and was rewarded an arrow in the leg from the guard. "sorry for all the trouble miss" and with that he walked away with his three prisoners. Mare turned to the boy. "thank you" she said with a smile. the boy smiled back and said "your welcome before heading back inside and closing the door behind him. she was sitting on one of the docks with the mabari. she had named him sparrow in memory of Bethany when Aveline found her and told her that carver returned with no luck.

Mare waited till everyone was asleep. when she was sure that no one would wake up. she sneaked out in search of a ship. she knew that with carver's attitude they would be stuck if she didn't look for a passage herself. she had just finished talking to a tenth captain when she saw a man struggling to get a horse on a ship. the horse broke from its hold and tried to escape. she whistled to him and when she had his attention she whispered soothing words till he was calmed. "how in andrastate's flaming tits did you do that" "pardon sir" "how did you calm him. hes the most troublesome horse i have owned for two years and nobody has been able to do that" "oh um i just have a way with animals." Mare smiled as the horse threw insults at his owner. "well if you could help me get him on my ship I'd greatly appreciate it." "are you headed to Kirkwall at all?" mare asked. "as a matter of fact i am why you ask." "could you please give me and my family passage." "hmm? how many you got with you" "not counting my mabari here there is four of us all together" "well i tell you what help me with the rest of my live stock onto the ship and ill give you and your family free passage."

everyone was just waking up when mare bursted in and said in a rush "i got us a ship get your this because he is leaving soon." everyone scrambled and fallowed mare to the ship. they were the last passengers on board before the ship took off. once the ship set sail carver was the first to question Mare how she got the ship. when she told them her deal with the captain carver sneered and said " well finally something you belong with." Aveline slapped him. "you ungrateful prat. be happy she at least got us on here." "how can you defend her you saw what she was." yes but it is a gift given to her by the maker so there is no reason to treat her like scum" "it's fine Aveline" "no it isn't Mare you are the older sibling there for he should be grateful and appreciate the sacrifices you made instead of smearing it into the ground like a selfish brat." Mare sighed and walked up into the live stock hold at least here she was appreciated. there was a small mirror on the wall she looked into it and smiled herself. she smiled at her eyes that where silver with flecks of green. she smiled at her hair turned white from Bethany's ice spell gone wrong. she smiled at her face which looked like her mother's except for her nose. she had her fathers nose. she turned away from the mirror when one of the horses nudged her. "I'm okay." she said to it as the horse's concern sounded in her mind.

it was two weeks before they reached Kirkwall. when she finished getting the last animal off the ship the captain offered to pay her as a hired hand untill he finished selling all of the animals. she didnt refuse him but told him she'd think about it. he handed her a card and said if she did choose to work for him. she just had to show the card to a guard and they would point her in the right direction. they reached the main part of the gallows when Aveline said "they're not letting anyone into the city. leandra said "what that cant be" "its true look at them all" "looks like we weren't the only one's fleeing the dark spawn." "and they would throw us back to the wolves unbelievable" "come on hopefully there is someone we can talk to" "sure sister lets go play suck up to the guards." "well excuse me for trying to help." "we never asked for your help." "it shouldn't matter I'm part of this family too" "no your not your a beast you were never part of this family ever scince you killed father" "i did not kill father" mare screamed." i was trying to save him but if you want to be a thick headed bastered then go ahead and good luck getting into the city with out me." with that she stormed off to the closet guard and showed him the card she had been planing to tear up. the guard pointed the way and she entered the city helping the captain sell his live stock. when the job was done the captain paid her and set off. even though she had enough money to buy a home there the city life wasent for her. so she went out to a place called the wounded coast. people she talked to about caves there warned her that the coast wasn't a good place for her. she just smiled and said thanks. she found a cave that went right into the city. she stayed in animal forms and watched as carver worked for a smuggler to pay off a debt to get into the city. she new he would make foolish choices so she still helped him. till a year was up and his debt paid off.

* * *

not sure if i want to continue with this one but give me reviews if you like it or if you see any spelling errors please and thank you XD


	2. Chapter 2

carver found being in charge was harder then he thought it was. mare had always made it look easy he had found first hand that it wasn't what he made it out to be. the tough part was paying off the smuggler he had already forgotten the elf's name. second was helping his mother which he found less time for himself and more time following her around in the markets. he also found he had less coin to spend on him self with all her shopping sprees to buy clothes to impress people. he was just finishing getting groceries when a voice behind him made him jump. "not so easy being in charge is it?" he looked for the source of the voice and found a dwarf was talking to him. "excuse me?" "you dont look like the person who is always in charge." "what do you mean!" "whoa easy junior watch that temper. you got the look of a sibling thats always in the shadow of an older sibling i should know been there myself." "so what do you want?" "just here to give you this." the dwarf handed him a letter and steped back as carver read it. hey carver how are things with mom not so easy being in charge now is it and dont lie and say it is i can see you have been struggling the past year. anytime you want to give up just tell verric that's the dwarfs name by the way that you want to see me he'll bring you to me and don't forget about what we owe flemeth. -mare p.s. hows mom doing without me and bethany to drag around with her in the market. "so your varric." "the one and only" "alright tell mare ill meet her at the dalish camp for the job we owe flemeth and that mom misses her but i still don't." carver walked away and varric chuckled to himself "yep hes just like she said he be."

it was dark when carver got back to the house. gamlen was no where in sight, probably out drinking again, so carver checked his desk for mail. he found a letter from athenrial he guessed that was the smuggler's name. he read if you are still looking for a job there is a dwarf named anso in the town square looking for help -athenrial. carver grabbed his gear and went to the hanged man to see what the pirate queen was up to. when he arrived he found her playing a card game with varric. they all waved and when carver asked if they would like to go they both agreed. they left after they finished their card game with isabell winning and varric complaining that she cheated. they found anso in the town square and when they approached him the dwarf jumped in the air. varric chuckled at his reason saying something about how his brother used to be like that isbell commented "dwarves are funny that way." after hearing the predicament that anso was in they agreed to help them only to find it was a trap ment for a broody elf named fenris. he apologized to the group carver accepted his apology and then explained what was going on after a few questions they agreed to help fenris kill his master so they went to where he was staying only to find it empty except for some bodies and shades and mare sitting on the stairs. carver hadn't seen her in so long he wonder what happen to her long white hair now short and why she had red lightning tattoos on her arms and face. instead he shouted at her. "what the fuck are you doing here!" "nice to see you to carver." "why are you here?!" mare sighed "i was waiting for that tivinter mage to come back but seeing who is with you i can guess he wont be back any time soon." she let out another sigh and got up from the stairs she was sitting on. fenris was curious. "why are you after danarius?" she stopped in the door way and said "same reason as you except i have my memories oh and carver we should really take care of that amulet tomorrow and tell mother i said hi." she shut the door behind her. carver jumped when he heard a crash turning around he saw fenris had knocked over a suite of armor he mumbled something about needing air and walked out the door. carver fallowed after he looted all the things he could sell for coin. when he got out side fenris started talking again the conversation ended with fenris saying should carver need him for anything he would be here waiting for danarius to take his mansion back. caver started heading home he did a double take when he thought he saw mare he rubbed his eyes and when he didnt see her he mumbled about being over tired and walked away.

mare watched from the shadows as carver headed home. she looked back at the elf to see him going inside curious she fallowed him and had to duck when a sword came at her head. a surprised look came across his face but as fast as it was there it was gone. "what do you want?" "just to talk and i was curious to see what you were doing." he grunted and headed towards the cellar. while he was gone mare went to the foyer room and starts a fire when she got a flame going she dragged furniture that was available over to the flames warmth. she sat on a bench near the fire. she heard fenris foot steps and watched as he walked in with a bottle of wine. "agressio pavarli" he sighed "there are at least six more bottles in the cellar. danarius used to have me pour it for his guest said my appearance intimidated them which he enjoyed." mare chuckled "i cant imagine why they would be put off i find your appearance interesting." fenris chuckled and smiled a little bit then he took a swig from the bottle. mare flinched when he threw it against the wall. "good to see i can still control the little things." mare raise and eyebrow but didn't make a comment instead she said "your hair is an interesting color." "i could say the same about yours." mare smiled and a tear ran down her cheek as she remembered bethany. "i got it from my sister when she first found she could use magic used to hate but its all i have left of her now." she saw fenris flinch when she said magic but she pressed on before he could make a retort about beth's magic. "we were playing in our yard just a harmless game of make believe. beth was always amazed at the things my father could do so she always pretended to cast spells well one day she did and it turned my black hair snow white. what about yours." wish i could tell but the only thing i remember was receiving these markings and a bunch of pain. "i can imagine." fenris turned angry "no i don't believe you ... can?" his anger turned to curiosity when red lightning bolts began to glow and appear on mare's arms and face. "how?" "when you escaped danarius decided to experiment to see if he could recreate what he did to you on prisoners of that ship you help capture. i was the only one who survived. he thought my memory was wiped like yours so he gave me free access to anywhere which was his mistake because i escaped and made my way back here." "i had no idea he would do that." mare sighed "well dont feel guilty about it you didnt know. it was nice talking to you but now i have to go." with that mare stood and walked to the door she stopped and turned "if you want you can come with me to the dalish tomorrow so your not alone all day." on her way out she passed carver she saw that he was angry at her. she just rolled her eyes and said don't forget about tomorrow."


End file.
